Thursday, December 8, 2016

A reminder... and a good one!

My friend Joanne, a friend from childhood posted a little reminder the other day on Facebook. Jo's brother Mark, (aka Mini Mark, aka Max, Maxie, depending on which part of his life you knew him from) passed away unexpectedly a few years ago. I'm paraphrasing but it goes something like this....

 "If you know someone who has lost a loved one or  very important person in their life, and you're afraid to mention it because you think you may make the person sad by reminding them of that person... you are not reminding them... they have not forgotten, they will never forget. What you are reminding them of when you mention them, is that you remembered that the person lived... and that is truly a great gift."

I might add to that,  there it is never a bad time to let someone know that you did not know that their person had died, or that you have not seen me to let me know how sorry you are at the loss of my husband,( father, friend, mother, brother, sister, grandparent...  whom ever).  Or you just didn't know what to say at the time... there is NEVER a bad time to let the surviving loved ones know you are missing, thinking, sending love. 

And may I also add,  for me, personally, don't feel bad if you did not know of Ted's death and you ask me how Ted is doing... I know it's an awkward thing, I have had to respond to this remark more times than I have ever thought possible, and the person who asks ALWAYS feels so awful. Please don't, I know you asked, because you knew and loved Ted, ( or me or Zaz or T-Moe) so I'm sorry that you didnt know and that I am just letting you know now. And when I get teary, well, I think I always will, and I'm not speaking for Jo here, but my guess is that she does too. You  don't ever get over the loss, how could you possibly get over the life of someone you loved so very much. You do move forward, you do enjoy your life,  as they enjoyed theirs. You honor their spirit, and memories. And you share stories, so they are always present. I NEVER, EVER get tired of hearing a Ted story, or a story about my Dad, or my  Mom, my Nana's & Pop-pop, Uncle Sonny, Aunt Marie & Aunt Terri, Uncle Alvin, and my sweet  friends Michael and Michelle, NEVER! So share, remember, and keep their memories in your heart.

As I head into the Christmas and New Year... I am always reminded of Ted's LOVE of a good party. So we PARTY! Our traditional X-Mas Eve Open House has continued in true Hellier form, and it is a beautiful reminder of a life lived fully.
May your holiday season be JOYFUL and FULL of LOVE, HOPE and HAPPINESS...