Sunday, February 14, 2016

It's true

By Bob Dylan
I've seen love go by my door 
It's never been this close before 
Never been so easy or so slow 
Been shooting in the dark too long 
When something's not right it's wrong 
You're gonna make me lonesome when you go 

Dragon clouds so high above 
I've only known careless love, 
It's always hit me from below. 
This time around it's more correct 
Right on target, so direct, 
You're gonna make me lonesome when you go 

Purple clover, Queen Anne lace, 
Crimson hair across your face, 
You could make me cry if you don't know. 
Can't remember what I was thinkin' of 
You might be spoilin' me too much, love, 
You're gonna make me lonesome when you go 

Flowers on the hillside, bloomin' crazy, 
Crickets talkin' back and forth in rhyme, 
Blue river runnin' slow and lazy, 
I could stay with you forever 
And never realize the time. 

Situations have ended sad, 
Relationships have all been bad. 
Mine've been like Verlaine's and Rimbaud. 
But there's no way I can compare 
All those scenes to this affair, 
You're gonna make me lonesome when you go 

You're gonna make me wonder what I'm doing, 
Staying far behind without you. 
You're gonna make me wonder what I'm saying, 
You're gonna make me give myself a good talking to. 

I'll look for you in old Honolulu, 
San Francisco and Ashtabula, 
You're gonna have to leave me now, I know. 
But I'll see you in the sky above, 
In the tall grass, in the ones I love, 
You're gonna make me lonesome when you go.

this version by Shawn Colvin, hits me hard.

Saturday, February 13, 2016


LOVE: It anchors me,  I do love, love.. everything about it the highs the lows the pleasure and the pain the good, the bad the exhausting.  I am sad for those who have never been in love, or loved anyone so completely and unconditionally or have been loved completely and unconditionally. I have been lucky enough to have experiened a bounty of love in my life. I came from a very large loving Italian family... I am forever grateful for all the love in our home growing up. My parents and 3 brothers taught me tolerance, acceptance, compassion, passion, humor, sarcasm, how to  nurture,  how to argue and make up and how to love... I learned love out of the gate. It was not perfection by any means, there were many arguements and disagreements with my 3 brothers and both my parents, but always there was love. We were a family that said I love you, but more importantly, we showed each other love.

 THE LOVE OF MY LIFE: I met and married the love of my life, the best husband and father ever. I never expected him. Marriage is hard work, we worked hard at our marriage, but there was always love, strong and unwavering. When we took our vows, I dont think we ever imagined we would have to honor all of them at such a young age, but we did...better,  worse, sickness, health and until death do us part.  But our 27  years together,  joyful, and full of love. Ted would always say  "I'm a lucky man" and I would smile. I was lucky too, he just said it to anyone who would listen!  I was the quiet one, everyone knew my heart. I would not  trade in a a second of our time together, as hard and difficult as some times were... the love, the LOVE was HUGE,  palpable,  you could feel it in a room. Such love I truly never imagined. I thank Ted for letting me know love like that.

OUR CHILDREN: The all encompasing love for my children. I never knew love like this existed  until I had Eliza. Both Ted and I were amazed how much we loved this little nugget. A feeling I never felt before... I LOVED Ted and he me, but this love... this love blew our minds! Then our second miracle... T-Moe. I truly was so worried that I would not have enough love... I could not imagine how I coud love someone as much as I did Eliza, but the heart,  the heart it is an amazing organ, the heart can hold so much love. Not a day of their lives goes by that I take them for granted, these gifts of love. They are a constant source of  joy, laughter, worry, pride and happiness and my LOVE for them is the unyielding and unconditional. These two occupy all of my heart and soul.

MY SISTERS- IN- LAW: The very best! I have been so blessed in this catagory. They love my crazy ass brothers, which makes me so happy. They have  created amazing families, and they complete the circle (for now... until our kiddos open that circle and add their loves) They are kind, smart, sweet, caring and loving women. I am happy to call them my sisters and friends. These ladies occupy a special part of my heart.

MY NIECES AND NEPHEWS: Oh how totally different these 7 young people are from each other,  I wouldnt have it any other way. Each their own unique, funny, silly, crazy, hipster, nerdy, athletic, artistic, musical, groovy, kind, empathetic. I love each one of them unconditionally. Another piece of my heart that beams with joy and is  full.

MY GRANDPARENTS: Mi Famila...I grew up with a grandparent always around. My grandmothers could not be more diffierent. Nana Betty, warm, nurturing and huggy. we would spend long hours  together talking or just sitting close not saying a word. Nana  Edna quiet, not so touchy feely, but showed love thru teaching. She taught me to sew and love of all things fiber from her. My Pop-pop a cranky cantankerous guy, but thoughtful and showed love in his own way. I never questioned it.  He would take us to boxing matches and conventions. (odd I know) And though I hated the boxing... the memories are hysterical! Same with convention trips to Atlantic City... lawless! ( though I'm pretty sure he was cluless) And then there is the fruit. My Pop-pop always brought me fruit, figs, chineese apples, jersey peaches. I think I once mentioned how much I liked them, and he never forgot.  To this day I cannot eat a fig without thinking of him and smiling. The  Grandparent compartment of my heart, full and full of warm lovely memories.

AUNTS, UNCLES AND COUSINS: We grew up seeing each other on a bit of  a regular basis. Then as life happened it became less and less. But those bonds, those genetic bonds bind us together. I Love them. We can be thrown into a room having not seen each other for years and it just flows,  catching up, meeting children, sharing life... not something you do with strangers, nope that talk is saved for cousins and aunts and uncles. And although some of my aunts and uncles have passed on I think of them often and with much love and I cherish their memories. And those that are still here I am blessed to have them in my life. Conversations with my aunts and uncles are always a welcomed treat and heart warming. That space in my heart for Mi Famila... special and always room for more.

FRIENDS: My friends, where would one be without their tribe? Friends from elementary school, Jr High School, High School, College, adult life and life shared with Ted.  I sometimes feel that I have an embarrassment of riches in this area. So many great loving, caring, kind, compassionate, giving, empathetic, funny, fun, talented, smart, witty friends. Thank You! I love you more than you know. You have carried me, lightened me, included me, guided me, supported me, helped me,  checked in on me and I am always so filled with love for you all. My continue to fill my heart, and my heart continues to  grow, Thank You!

So there it is all my LOVES. Happy Valentines to all the people I have loved and continue to love. You continue to amaze me and expand my heart. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE You!

Sunday, February 7, 2016

Grow old with me...will never be.

Ted Hellier...
 used to make fun of me when this song came on  and I would get teary.
Now when I hear this song I still get teary but for different reasons.  I see older couples and I get all emotional, oh how I will soooo miss growing old with that man.
If you have not head this song by John Lennon, give it a listen, it is the sweetest. my favorite version is Mary Chapin Carpenters.

Grow old along with me
The best is yet to be
When our time has come
We will be as one
God bless our love
God bless our love 

Grow old along with me
Two branches of one tree
Face the setting sun
When the day is done
God bless our love
God bless our love

Spending our lives together
Man and wife together
World without end
World without end 

Grow old along with me
Whatever fate decrees
We will see it through
For our love is true
God bless our love
God bless our love